Playing Doctor...

Yeah, you read right...I tell ya, sometimes, being a mom is like dinner theater without the warm dinner (unless it's microwaved after the wee ones have gone to bed). I had a doctor's appointment today and couldn't find anyone to watch my Flaminguito as the appointment was moved up to an earlier date and time. I told the nurse I'd be bringing my daughter and she said that's fine, as long as she won't mind sitting there while Mommy goes through an exam...yes, you know the kind...an "exam" like the stirrups and the pretty paper gown you get to wrap up in. So I pack LOADS of toys and snacks and milk and dolls and books and we head in. As we arrive at the check-in counter, she sees the fish...so far so good...she loves fish, as any child does...so she runs over to look and squeal and wave and "talk" "fish talk" to them. Then she meanders through the toys and sits in little kiddie chairs and reads some books and has a grand time playing by herself...great, I'm thinking, as I read a magazine...this isn't so bad, it's actually relaxing! Then we're called back...as I step on the scale I set the little chick down (don't need her pounds factoring in) and she looks petrified...she holds her breath, then starts to scream just as I pick her back up...phew! Just missed some blood curdling screeches there. Then we head into the exam room where the baby bird sits calmly in a seat next to me, talks to her toys, even reads her books...aloud...a LOUD, I mean. She suddenly has a sound effect for everything...I give her a fruit leather and she even has a sound effect for it coming out of the plastic. But that's fine, she's happy, she's behaving, I'm not even sweating. Then the nurse leaves the room...Oh! Her eyes light up, a spinny chair with a computer in reach...yay! "Leave it," I plead. She complies...then walks over to the stirrups and pulls them out, then down, then all around. As I'm trying to put one back in, she's taking the other one out. "Leave it." I demand. But now it's a game, you see...and I am the "villian" whom she must disobey! She finally stops when I get a pb & j concoction out for her to snack on. Then she sits on the foot rest...Fine with me. We sit in peace for, oh, 30, maybe even 40 seconds...then she opens the drawer...Oh look, mom! Lights! I can see it in here eyes that nothing, no one, can keep her from that speculum. It's waaayyyy to shiny...I jump up! I know where that thing's been and I know where it's going...I DON"T need peanut butter all over it, thank you very much. So I close the drawer, she stomps her feet and goes to the floor to collapse in a heap, I let her. She's over it when she discovers a flashing red light and a button..."Woooowww!" she says...it's next to the door, so she reaches for the handle...she wants out. I want to stay in with my cozy little paper wrap over my legs and whatnots, so I tuck the paper around like a toga and carry her back to the seats. She hadn't noticed until now that I'm wearing paper and paper tears and makes noise and is lots of fun. So she tugs, pulls, tears, giggles, then tries to peek under it before trying to take it off me. After all, we are here for her amusement, right? I don't want it off me, so I distract her with other things, like Kleenex in a box...bad idea...she wants all of them now...I tell her we've taken enough and we're going to blow her nose. Great! She's trying to blow...but now it's garbage and she must find the garbage to throw it away in...she looks in every cupboard, every drawer, before I finally step on the pedal and push the garbage lid open..."Wooowww!" (Why didn't I realize before that an exam room is so cool? Think of all the fun I could have had at prior visits!) Then she discovers the outlets on the exam table, "Hmmm," she thinks, "my fingers would fit perfectly in there." "NO!" I leap to the floor, finally the door handle turns and the doc comes in. Thank Heaven, she loves babies, so she talks to the little chick and makes noises that the baby thinks are just fantastic...something like "Phhhhhbbbbbbttttt!" Then Flaminguito is distracted by magazines for a moment while I hop onto the exam table and assume the position. The doctor moves that wiry light thingy over to the "area" and the little chick freaks out! She gets this awful look on her face and starts crying, so the doctor picks her up and puts her on my chest...Now, I've had my share of exams, but never one with a baby grinning in my face. She leans her head around to see where the doctor went and spots her, saying, "boo!" Oh great, just what I need...to be in the middle of a game of peek-a-boo! But they're having fun, so the doctor is peeking back and forth and saying "boo!" And the little chick is playing right along. Whoever said you lose all modesty when you have children must have played this game before. Finally, the doc closes up shop and says she's going to step out of the room and I can put my pants back on. Thankfully, I do. And the little chick climbs up onto my lap rubbing her eyes and asking for her baby doll. She'd missed her nap because of my appointment and was ready to crash. So, all ended well, I got an exam, the baby had fun, and I think she gave the doctor a little something to smile about. But next time, I'm going to try to find someone...anyone...to watch her.

Ohhhhh Nooooo!

Two words you don't usually want to hear from your 1 year old flaminguito. But when they're accompanied by a hand slapped on her forehead they're pretty funny (think melodramatic). After I got her out of the shower I let her run around without a diaper for a bit...freedom! She darted for the laundry room and shut the door, giggling at her cleverness.

After a few moments behind closed doors I hear, "Mommmmmmmmmaaaaa!" She sounded frantic, so I opened the door and she's standing back pointing in the corner. I look, but see nothing but a dumped basked of laundry on the floor. I smiled and said, "it's no big deal," when she looks at me, tugging on my pinky finger and says "Ohhhhh Nooooo!" with the hand to forehead exasperated look. As she tugs, I come to see a pile of less than desireable stuff that I prefer to find in diapers...yes, she decided the carpet was the optimal place for a naked bum to squat and do her duty. Once she's sure I've seen it, she stands there, looking at me as if to ask; Well, aren't you going to clean it up? I lead her into her bedroom and I put her on her changing table where she compliantly lies down saying, "dirtydirtydirtydirtydirty."

She helps me clean up the mess by standing back out of my way and saying "scoot scoot" as I pass by with my garbage bag, rubber gloves, gas mask and full body white suit on...okay, a little overboard, I had a baggie over my hand so I wouldn't have to touch anything. Then I brought her to her potty chair and told her the next time she needs to do that, she should use this seat. I think she got it...I mean, it only takes telling a one-year-old once, right? At least it was the laundry room, where disinfectants are close-at-hand.

The Snow is beginning to melt...but we had fun playing in it for the last few days...

Note to self: Don't leave dark eyeshadow where baby birds can reach it...they may look like some notorious historical figure after they've finished "painting" themselves...enough said. wow.

Tuckered OUT!

The poor thing...both of us were exhausted after about an hour of wailing (her, not me...well, not really) she finally tuckered out on her beanbag...woke about 10 minutes later, though, thanks to the kind landscapers hired next door...they decided to laugh and yuk it up IN MY DRIVEWAY...next to my sleeping baby...and she began crying. Finally asleep when they all pile in their truck to drive off...they rev up the engine...vvvvrrrrrroooooommm!!! No...VVVRRROOOOOMMMM!...Not good enough, apparently...VVVROOOOOOMMMMM!

Ahhh...that's better...now we've properly awakened the baby, they must have said to eachother...and drove off...not quietly.

But she rolled around and eventually went back to sleep under the coffee table...unfortunately, I had already taken the camera and plugged it into the computer to upload pictures, so I didn't get that shot, but aw well. You get my drift...she was tuckered out...and so was I!

Home Alone

I leave the little chick with her Dad for how long? An hour...two maybe? And I come back to their "artwork" ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR! Oh thank heaven for washable crayons...actually, I accept full responsibility for my actions...I told Father Bird the crayons were washable and should have guessed he'd do something so "fun". But they wiped right off so (don't tell him this part) I've done it with her since then, too. hee hee...now, we'll have to hide the non-washable ones because that would be disastrous!

Jammin' with my Uncle...wow...I'm good! (or maybe that's him...hmmmm)

Okay, Mom...ready to play...you said it's cold and muddy outside, so I got my boots on!

Christmas on the Beach...
Grandpapa took some time off work to join Flaminguito and I on a trip to the beach...somewhere in here you can see the sea lions all piled on top of eachother on a rock...we were just yards away from them and they were magnificent! (and magnifi-scented...boy, do those creatures compete with stinky diapers...I think they'd win flippers down!) This one's just a photo collage, though...no slides.

Christmas in Coos Bay

I know it's been a really long time since I've posted, so here's a slideshow of the little chick's Christmas adventures...beginning with making Daddy's Birthday Pie (healthier than cake, right?) And ending with Easy Cheese...not as healthy as pie or cake, I don't think...but the bottle/can thingy says it's an "excellent source of calcium."